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You have seen it on TV or experienced it personally: the scene in which the CEO of a business rants, raves and lets his employees have it about poor performance. He generally wears a suit and sits behind a big desk, on which he periodically pounds with his fist. This is a classic stereotype of what anger looks like in leadership. People are intimidated, hurt and demoralized by this aspect of leadership.

This stereotype came from events that actually do happen, of course, and there is certainly reality behind it. Leaders can bully and scare those who follow them, and it is a bad thing. But there is another dimension here, which is that anger can work in a positive way for your leadership. It can help you produce the fruit you want to produce. And, at the same time, you ignore or dismiss your angry feelings to your peril. Let's not make that mistake, but instead view anger as a normal part of life that can actually help your leadership.

The Nature of Anger

Let's understand the basic emotion of anger. It is a feeling of displeasure or even of hostility. Your body responds also, with an increased heart rate and blood pressure; adrenaline and noradrenalin levels are increased. It is as if you and your body are preparing for a boxing match.

If you read my last article in the Ultimate Newsletter, I said that leaders need to understand that God gives us emotions as signals to us, so that we can take the right steps. Much like the dashboard of your car tells you that you need gas or oil, or that the engine is overheating, feelings indicate realities we need to pay attention to. In this sense, anger truly is about getting ready for some sort of battle. It is a preparation for a conflict. At its heart, anger is simply telling you there is a problem to be solved. Anger prepares you to face and resolve something that needs resolution. It is an emotion that indicates it's time to act.

Even God feels angry when He leads his people, and for good reasons. One example is when people don't respond to His love when He reaches out: "The LORD became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice (I Kings 11:9, NIV)." And His action step was to change the entire dynasty of who ruled Israel, in order to show His people how important it was to follow Him. God had a problem. His anger was a signal that He had a problem. And He solved His problem.

Leaders can also feel angry about a number of things, for example when:

• You have been blamed for a decision that you didn't make
• Someone in your organization expects you to be perfect, and criticizes you when you aren't
• Your perform poorly through lack of effort
• Your organization doesn't meet goals because of events beyond your control, such as industry changes or economic downturns

In these cases, your anger is communicating something to you that you need to be aware of. If you try to stop being angry instead of examining what your anger is about, you will miss the point. Understanding and responding appropriately to the anger are necessary steps to take in the course of solving a problem. It dissipates, goes away, and you resume your life, until it emerges again with another problem to look at. Consider the first example of being unfairly blamed. You may need to talk to that person and clarify the matter to get it resolved. Or you may find out that you were actually being justly blamed, and need to change some behavior or decision. Finally, if the other person persists in his unfair view of you, you may need to let it go, feel some sadness about it (the emotion we will deal with in the next article) and move on. All three of these action steps tend to resolve the anger, if it is a normal situation.

Look at the Sources

It's important to see where your anger comes from, as that will help you determine the right steps to take.

The External One source is some external event, like the ones above. Something or something outside of you acts upon you, and it's a negative experience for you. But you have the meeting, face the issue, parcel out the responsibility and plans, and move ahead.

The Internal Anger can also come from inside you, and this is often missed by leaders. For example, you may find it hard to trust others at a deep level - a common leadership problem. You might use unreasonable anger to push others away, so you won't seem vulnerable to them. Or, you may feel angry when people don't respond to you in the way you want; this can signal that you have a control problem. That is, you resist the freedom of your followers, and have difficulty letting them be independent people. Your anger is an attempt to re- establish control, which doesn't work, at least in the long term. Good leaders don't control their people.

Use Anger Productively

Habitually angry leaders don't do a good job. But neither do those who deny or minimize their anger. Here are some ways to deal with anger that will improve your outcomes.

Be open to it, and admit it. Some leaders are so convinced that all anger is bad, that they don't feel it when they are angry. They don't want to be perceived as a bad or controlling person. So when anger arises, they don't know it - but the people around them sure do! Try this with a few safe people in your life whom you trust: ask them to let you know when they see you getting angry about some event. That will give you something to work on. It's the old story of "I'm not angry." "Then why are you smiling and breaking the pencil in half at the same time?" Most of the time, it's not that you're mean, you're just mad.

Get the pattern. Find out what kinds of people and events trigger your anger more than others. Are there critical people around you who can't be satisfied? What about people who make excuses instead of admitting mistakes? Or situations that you have no control over, and you find yourself angry, but with no recourse? These patterns will help you determine the best ways to deal with them.

Take the step. There are only so many things you can do with a problem. You can talk to the person and figure out who is responsible for what percentage of it. You can find a creative solution. You can confront someone. And there are times you will have to grieve, be sad and admit your helplessness in a situation. However it plays out, that is the response to anger. Solve the problem it points to as best you can, especially if the problem is you.

Don't be afraid of anger. If you deal with its source, you will find that the feeling can quickly be resolved and not get in your way."

God bless you, and your call to leadership.

"In your anger do not sin"[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

(Ephesians 4:26 NIV )

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