Now, in between your blue-sky dream and your present reality is a space, or a gap. It is the distance between what you are producing and what you would like to produce, whatever the product is. Successful leaders know how to learn from the gap and use it to their advantage. We all have these gaps, as no one hits a home run every time. But it is important to look at the size, extent, and nature of the space. If you find that you aren't closing your gap or are even in a "free fall," it may be that you are setting unrealistic goals for yourself and your organization. So where does the pressure to make unrealistic goals come from? There are several sources, but I will address three. Adrift from reality. Sometimes a person has not come to terms with either the organization's or his or her own limitations. That is, the person does great with vision and marketing, but avoids talking to the accounting department! If this is your tendency, you may have a difficult time with aspects of life such as loss, failure, and negativity. No one enjoys these things, but they are true, they are real, and they don't go away if you avoid them. Remember that God is on the side of those who embrace reality, that is, life as it really is. Get to know the not-so- positive as well as the positive, and you'll find that you will become a problem-solver as well as a visionary. People pleasing. At other times, a leader might be setting goals that don't work because he or she is afraid of conflict or of disappointing people. The leader may simply not have good skills in dealing with resistance or with the negative reactions of board members, elders, or supervisors. People pleasing is a little like credit card debt: it works OK in the short term, but you always pay for it later! Leaders with a people-pleasing approach would do well to practice having confrontive conversations and learn how to have a thick skin when others are negative with them. Leaders are like lightning rods: they are the first target when criticism strikes. It's just part of the job. Drivenness. Sometimes a leader sets unattainable goals because of perfectionism. Such a leader is driven to be someone he or she isn't and can't be. Over-identifying with the leadership position, this person feels the weight of his or her own perfectionism in every decision that needs to be made. This is not a happy or fulfilled existence! In fact, it's a pretty miserable one, and not at all conducive to a church or organization's growth. What often helps a leader with this issue is to begin to receive grace and acceptance from God and safe people. When we let people know our faults and our drivenness to hide from those failings, the cure is often acceptance: "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God" (Rom. 15:7). Goals and dreams are a wonderful thing. In fact, we start to die inside without them: "Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Prov. 29:18, KJV). However, if the gap between where you are and where you want to be causes discouragement or failure, start to become a leader who is taught by reality. That is the source of wisdom and success.