Ultimate Leadership Newsletter

Next Ultimate Leadership
workshop
January 25 -30, 2009 - This workshop will include an Alumni group - call soon to register: limited spots available!

For details on these one-of-a-kind workshops, visit our
    Web site

One of the hallmarks of maturity in humans is what is called an "observing ego." The word "ego" means "I", so the observing ego is the "I who watches me." It is the ability to observe yourself and notice how you are doing. People who are strong in this area have the ability to make better judgments, regulate their impulses, monitor their tone as they talk to someone, notice whether that last idea was nutty or not, change direction, and sometimes remember, "I had better keep that thought to myself." It is like having a coach, a chaperone, an instructor, and a cop all inside your head. If you have ever known someone who lacks this ability, you have likely asked them, "What were you thinking?!" In reality, they were thinking - but were probably not thinking about their thinking. Nor were they thinking about their behaviors and choices. They lacked oversight.
Without this oversight, a person is on autopilot, led more by impulses, needs, fears, and immaturity, than by superior capacities such as wisdom, knowledge, courage, experience, and prudence. The biggest problem is that, without self-observation, people don't notice their mistakes and patterns. They continue to make the same mistakes and get the same results. In order to change, observation is necessary, and can be provided at first by an external force (a coach, counselor, friend, or even a parole officer). Over time, the observation becomes internalized, and the ability to self-monitor and adjust when needed is developed. That is when we know that maturity is becoming an option. No more "home alone."
I discuss this ability in leaders on an individual level in my book Integrity. Here is how you can use it on a team level. I suggest that you lead your team in one of the most formative team exercises: the regular meeting. Most teams have such meetings, where they work on issues together, and the individuals report back to the team on their individual parts of the business. In reality, much more happens in these regular meetings than just addressing business projects and issues. The larger result is that a team is being formed, meeting after meeting. The very way that it works together is taking shape and developing: how it communicates, how it thinks together, how it creates, how it solves problems, how it supports, how it envisions itself, how it executes, how it creates culture. Whether it realizes it or not, habits and ways are being formed. That is where the observing capacity of a team is paramount.
A team, just like an individual, needs to ask itself, "How are we doing? How have we been: communicating, thinking together, creating, and solving problems, right here in the last ninety minutes?" This releases a powerful dynamic into the team that often has been lacking: the ability to monitor its ways and correct them, rather than allowing these ways to become ingrained patterns which will ultimately define the business. Very often, the personality of an entire company is defined by the personality of the executive team - and the personality of the team is formed around that regular meeting. Just as you can tell much about a family by the proverbial family dinner, you can tell much about a company by the executive team meeting. A leader must bring structure and sanity to that time in order for purposeful formation to occur. The question then is, "How?"
Here is a simple tip for you and your team to put into place. I call it the "observed meeting." Instead of only having meetings, do something extra: have the meeting and then observe the meeting. Make a covenant with each other that you will take ten minutes at the end of every meeting to ask yourself the question, "How did we do today?" You can make it general, or you can ask specific questions related to the most important values or functions of your team. Here are some suggestions:
How did we do at staying focused today on what we needed to do?
How was our tone today? Was it safe to give all of our opinions and thoughts, or was there danger of getting shot down, devalued, or made to feel stupid?
How did we do on moving toward actionable items?
How did we live out our values?
Did we reach commitments to each other?
Was there space for the best of who we are and what we bring?
Was there space for real creativity?
What kind of culture did we embody here? Is it the kind that we want?
Did we function as a team or as a bunch of individuals in a room?
Was this a good use of our time? If not, why?
Are we making the best use of these meetings? Do we have an agenda disease?
Can everyone leave here drawing a direct line between what we did and our vision and mission?
How did this move the ball down the field?
Is anyone going to leave with unfinished business that is going to get in the way? How did that happen?
Is the way that we conducted ourselves going to require a "meeting after the meeting" among a subgroup? Why was that not dealt with here?
Certainly not all of these can be asked at the end of each meeting; but simply asking any one of them could be a giant step toward becoming a better team.
Just as the unobserved life is not worth living, the unobserved meeting may be not worth having. In my coaching and team building experience, I have seen incredible things happen when teams begin to better define what they are about, and then watch themselves closely to ensure that they are becoming that kind of team. They begin to "form." They "shape" themselves into what they need to be in order to accomplish their purpose. The observed meeting is a powerful structure that can change a business or organization. All it takes is a little "watching."
It is helpful to have a coach or facilitator with experience to help you in this process; but even if you don't, you can make observing on your own a part of your regular practice. When you do, you will be surprised at the results - and all it took was adding a little observation to your meeting. God Bless!
(For relevant resources, my book Integrity discusses the observing ego of the leader, and my book The One-Life Solution offers guidance on how to perform a time audit which, when applied to the team meeting, can be very powerful.)

	Words of Encouragement

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
( Psalm 107:1 NIV )

	Ultimate Leadership Workshop

A one-week
intensive workshop for leaders
with Dr. Henry Cloud
and Dr. John Townsend

Upcoming Ultimate Leadership workshop
in San Juan Capistrano, California -
January 25 - 30, 2009 - ***Special Offer for Alumni Only - Call to register by Dec. 12, and you will receive $100 off your registration! (Limited space available - must pay in full when registering)***
Call soon to register!
Here's what one Alumnus had to say about returning to Ultimate Leadership ...
My Ultimate Leadership experience spans two years, a time of deep personal challenge and growth. I first attended in 2005. Facing my leadership and relationship vulnerabilities wasn't easy or comfortable, yet the process gave me key insights into my growth edges.
My return to Ultimate in 2006 revealed how I had grown, as well as new areas of change to embrace. I left my second workshop committed to joining an ongoing small group, and to finding new ways to overcome residual inner obstacles to leadership and relationship success. I fulfilled both commitments, and continue to seek learning that helps me 'meet the demands of reality'.
It all simmers down to Ultimate Leadership offering challenging, spiritually-centered, soul guidance. I now take more thoughtful, courageous responsibility for my life and my interactions with others.
Ultimate Leadership extends a life-transforming invitation well worth accepting.
Karen Sweet
Professional Certified Coach
Mountain View, CA
For more reviews...

	Dr. Henry Cloud's latest book - The One-Life Solution

 
Visit our new and improved Store          
         on the Cloud-Townsend Web site!
www.cloudtownsend.com
Have you seen Dr. Henry Cloud's most recent book The One-Life Solution? You can read more about it on our website - this book is a must-read not only for leaders, but for anyone wanting to find a healthy balance between work and personal life!
In The One-Life Solution, bestselling author Dr. Henry Cloud examines the workplace. Through engaging real-world examples, Dr. Cloud shows us how to construct and enforce better boundaries against the technological devices, bullying bosses, and distracting coworkers who invade our time and space.

	An Opportunity for Giving

While planning your year-end giving, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to the Ultimate Leadership Scholarship Fund.
This fund, managed by the Foundation for Christian Stewardship, has helped many deserving leaders attend our life-changing workshop and become more effective in their ministries.
Thanks to our donors, missionaries from overseas, military personnel, and pastors and staff of smaller churches have been able to participate in Ultimate Leadership. What a great opportunity to support those who are making a real difference in our world!
For more information, click here, or call our office for details: 888/792-4769.
May God richly bless you for your generosity!

	Solutions Leaders Wanted!

Are you interested in becoming a Solutions leader?
sign up here...

	Ultimate Living Tour

The Ultimate Living Tour is coming to a city near you! Don't miss this opportunity to hear from Dr. John Townsend or Dr. Henry Cloud-live and in person!
When life works well it's not an accident. There are proven principles to making life happen successfully.
Living the Ultimate Life means success in four specific areas:
Freedom from hurts and pain that hold you back
Improving the quality of your significant relationships
Defining and reaching your goals and dreams
Connecting with God and deepening your spiritual life
In other words, the Ultimate life is full of good things and you are thriving in all these areas.
Now, in one event, you will learn secrets that will transform your life. You will discover how you can make Ultimate Living a reality!
Is the Ultimate Living Tour coming to your town? Click here...

	Let Dr. Cloud or Dr. Townsend address your group!

Interested in bringing Dr. Cloud or
Dr. Townsend to your organization?
Please call (800) 676-HOPE (4673)
for information about creating an exciting event for your church or group!
The doctors' event schedule...

email: ultimatenewsletter@cloudtownsend.com
phone: 888-792-4769
web: http://www.cloudtownsend.com