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Next Ultimate Leadership
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July 15 - 20, 2007
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The Power Drain
by Dr. Henry Cloud |
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“He’s a powerful leader,” the manager said.
“Really?” I asked. “Why do you say that?”
“Just because he is so direct and you always know where he stands. I think that is the key to his effectiveness,” he replied.
“That is a very good quality,” I answered. But at the same time, I could not believe my ears. Something was not right here. Only a few days before, I had just dealt with this leader on a very important issue: his lack of being direct! He was being perceived by some significant leaders in his organization as a flip-flopper and not strong. And they were right. But, here was someone else saying he was “powerful,” and “direct.” What was up? Who was wrong?
The truth is no one was wrong. The person who saw the leader as powerful was accurate, and so was the one who said he was a flip-flopper. How can that be? The answer lies in one of the most important dynamics of human behavior, and human success or failure. It is the dynamic of different kinds of people and different kinds of situations being able to pull at different aspects of who we are, and as a result, we act like different people depending on what is getting “hooked” within us. And, it can be a disaster for leadership.
Some leaders can be very strong and direct if they are dealing with someone who also is strong. But, put them with someone who they see as vulnerable, or that they feel sorry for, and they might just give away the farm. They are afraid of hurting the person, and so they do not discipline him or fire her. They are sometimes afraid to confront the “weak” person.
Sometimes it might be the opposite, as a leader may be very direct with someone he or she perceives as weak, only to shy away when they see someone as being stronger. Another leader might be strong and direct if he or she does not feel like they need the other person’s approval, or need to close the deal they are negotiating. But if they do feel like they need something from that person in some way, their directness and truthfulness gets soft. They are more adaptive and malleable.
This in no way means that we do not need to have the emotional intelligence to handle different people and different situations in different ways. In fact, that ability is key to leadership. What it does mean is that we are able to be strong, or caring, or direct, or diligent no matter what kind of person we are dealing with, and that wisdom and not fear dictates our actions. If you are able to be all of who you are, then you can decide what the situation calls for and deliver what is needed. But, if you can only be direct with a certain kind of person, or caring with another kind, then that is a root of duplicity. It will erode your sense of power as a leader, the power drain.
Power is not domination. It is the ability to be free of the constraints of fear, or other dynamics that keep you from initiating, deciding, risking, confronting, acting, or delivering whatever the situation calls for. It is the ability to be all of who you are no matter whom you are with. It is the ability to be absent of intimidation. It is the ability to not be needy of something from the other person, like approval, or even the deal or agreement that you are pursuing. In short, it is the freedom to be all of who you are, the leader that God made you to be.
So, observe yourself. With whom, or in what kind of situation do you become “less of who you are?” Ask yourself or the ones you trust why you do that. Find the roots of that tendency, and work on them so that you do not lose power in the very situation that might require it the most. You will become a better manager, negotiator, strategist, or whatever it is that your organization is depending on you to be. God gave you the power to be yourself. Do not allow any person or situation to cause you to be otherwise. God Bless.
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Words of Encouragement |
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If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.(James 1:5-8, NIV)
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Ultimate Leadership Workshop |
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A one-week
intensive workshop for leaders
with Dr. Henry Cloud
and Dr. John Townsend
Upcoming Ultimate Leadership workshop
in San Juan Capistrano, California
July 15 - 20, 2007
What one leader had to say about the Ultimate Leadership workshop experience...
What one leader had to say about the Ultimate Leadership workshop experience...
I am grateful for the opportunity to have participated in Ultimate Leadership. The program filled holes in my leadership and personal spiritual growth that I had not understood and been able to address beforehand.
I am a changed person from within—spiritually, relationally, and professionally—as a result of the Ultimate Leadership experience. Through the combination of biblical study, teaching sessions, and small group meetings, I've deepened my faith and humility, learned how to increase my leadership effectiveness, and improved my ability to develop more meaningful relationships with people. Ultimate Leadership provided a foundation for my ongoing personal and spiritual growth.
I've gained confidence and enthusiasm for future entrepreneurial, corporate, and church related leadership roles, through making some healthy changes in my life as a result of Ultimate Leadership. I can see (and feel) God's work in this process and in the progress of my colleagues and friends.
Tom Carhart, Entreprenuer
Santa Rosa, California
For more reviews...
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New Solutions Web Site |
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It's innovative, it's interactive-
it's our new Solutions Web site!
www.solutionsonvideo.com
Take a moment to click on the link-we think you'll agree that this is a site with a lot to offer. It provides hundreds of video answers to questions on topics that are important to you: love, singleness, marriage, parenting, career, leadership, emotional struggles, and more. You can submit questions, participate in a Blog, build community online, and access endless free resources to help you navigate life. This new site is not a replacement for our Cloud-Townsend Resources Web site; it is a new resource we have added. Let us know what you think of it!
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Ultimate Leadership Series Satellite Broadcasts |
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DR. HENRY CLOUD AND DR. JOHN TOWNSEND PRESENT THE ULTIMATE LEADERSHIP SIMULCAST SERIES-VIA SATELLITE!
In their ongoing work with hundreds of leaders, psychologists Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend have identified issues and challenges relevant to leaders everywhere. A few years ago, they created Ultimate Leadership, a one-week intensive workshop designed to address these leadership issues. Workshops are held throughout the year in Southern California.
Now, in conjunction with CCN (Church Communication Network), Drs. Cloud and Townsend present a monthly simulcast series that continues and complements the leadership training offered in the Ultimate Leadership workshop. Each one-hour simulcast provides key leadership insights and practices, all solidly based on biblical principles of leadership and character development. Each is designed to help fulfill the desire all leaders share: to become better leaders!
Read on...
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People Grow or Ultimate Leadership
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Here is an excerpt from How People Grow to whet your
appetite:
The Truth of Our Condition. Our
condition is that we all have
to grow. Everyone has weaknesses,
sins, immaturities, and brokenness.
Most of us are aware that we
aren't perfect people. However,
true growth occurs when we are
able to discover what our own
particular issues of growth are,
which areas of our lives need
God's healing and maturing. In
other words, all of us need
to be in the path of living the
life of God: dependence on him,
relationship with others, productive
jobs and careers, ministry, and
character growth. This is universal.
At the same time, we need to
find out what areas we have fragility
or a pattern of failure in and
bring those into the growth process
also. Spiritual growth requires
certain ingredients to work
correctly. Here are some of the
things people need:
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A spiritual context where
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growth
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Abiding human relationships
that are loving and truthful
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Experience and competence
in the particular areas of
growth
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Enough time for the process
to take hold
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A structure or framework that
fits the needs of the grower
Whatever people are working on, they need to know what activities to engage
in to bring about the fruit
of growth. We need not only
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but also to act on it.
(How People Grow, ch. 17, "Facing Reality: How Truth Deepens Growth," pp.
322-3)
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Let Dr. Cloud or Dr. Townsend address your group! |
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Interested in bringing Dr. Cloud or
Dr. Townsend to your organization?
Please call (800) 676-HOPE (4673)
for information about creating an exciting event for your church or group!
Read on...
· Ultimate Leadership Workshop, San Juan Capistrano, California, July 15 - 20, 2007 |
· God Will Make a Way, Dr. John Townsend, May 19, 2007, Riva Trace Baptist Church,Annapolis, MD, |
· Boundaries, Dr. John Townsend, June 2,Chapel Hill United Methodist Church, Henderson, KY |
· Women of Faith, Dr. Henry Cloud, Metra Park , Billings,MT May 18-19, 2007 |
· Women of Faith, Dr. Henry Cloud, Savvis Center, St, Louis, MO,June 15-16, 2007 |
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