When do you “invest” in someone or in anything? By Dr. Henry Cloud
Hey Guys,
Hope all is well. I am speaking in beautiful Georgia today. What a great place…makes me look forward to the Masters!!
Here is a thought for you. When do you “invest” in someone or in anything? Answer: when you have high trust. And when you think about it, isn’t that what you want from the people in your life? For them to fully “invest” themselves with you…their hearts, minds, souls, and strength? Whether in friendship, business, family, or any other kind of relationship, we want to be connected to people who are “fully in, fully invested.” No halfheartedness, right?
So that brings up the question: when are they going to trust us to be able to fully engage, fully invest?
Here are a few components to think about that people need to trust us. When these are there, trust goes up, and when trust goes up, investment goes up as well.
Intent—people will trust you when they know your motives for them are good. They need to know that you are “for” them.
Connection through Understanding—people will trust you when they feel that you understand them and their needs. Then they will feel connected.
Character—people will trust you when your character is revealed in traits like honesty, love, compassion, faithfulness, mercy, listening, perseverance, courage, patience, self-control, goodness, etc. It helps them to know what they can expect from you and that the fruits will be good.
Capacity and Ability—people will trust you when you have the ability to do what they are trusting you to do. You trust a doctor, for example, when she is competent and able to do the surgery. For people to trust us, we must be able to perform in the area they are trusting with.
Track Record—people will trust you based on past behavior. If you are establishing a track record of being there for them in the above ways “last time,” they will trust you to do it again. Our last actions matter for the future.
Developing trust is hard work, but if look first at ourselves to see how we can become more trustworthy for others, that is the biggest step. The rest will follow.
(If you want to read more about trust, see Chapter 9 in Boundaries For Leaders)
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