How do you handle tantrums?
Cheryl was at the end of her rope. Eleven-year-old Nathan threw tantrums when he was frustrated. Tantrums at that age could be scary. He would yell at her, stomp, slam doors, and sometimes throw things. Yet Cheryl thought, He needs a place to let out those bottled-up feelings, or they’ll eat him up inside. So […]
Learning to Be Safe
Has this question ever crossed your mind? Okay, I finally found a safe person, now what do I do with him? Look at him? Take him home? Go to a movie? Ride off into the sunset? Many of us are quite unfamiliar with the dynamics of closeness. The good news is that we can take […]
Where are the Safe People?
Last week we described what safe relationships look like. Now the big question remains—where do you find safe people? A client lamented with me about how she had tried the “safe relationship” stuff, sharing her heart, being honest, etc. and concluded that it just didn’t work. She felt judged and condemned. It seemed that those […]
What are Safe People?
If you surf around this website, you would soon discover I am a strong proponent of getting connected in good, safe relationships. It is the underlying ingredient of having a healthy, maturing life. So, what are safe relationships? A safe relationship is one that does three things: Draws us closer to God. (Matthew 22:37-38) Draws […]
If I Know the Truth, I Will Grow
“Christian” Beliefs that Can Drive You Crazy – Part 6 False Assumption — If I Know the Truth, I Will Grow. Many Christians are taught that if they simply know their Bibles, their emotional problems will be cured. They are taught that knowing God’s Word is the all-sufficient cure for everything that ails them. Bible […]
If I Make Right Choices, I Will Grow Spiritually
“Christian” Beliefs that Can Drive You Crazy – Part 5 False Assumption — If I Make Right Choices, I Will Grow Spiritually “Just Say No!” advised the popular drug-education program. The sponsors thought that just saying no was the answer to the drug problem. Other people have held the same philosophy about other problems—anger, lust, […]
Guilt and Shame Are Good for Me
“Christian” Beliefs that Can Drive You Crazy – Part 4 False Assumption — Guilt and Shame Are Good for Me This crazymaker states that guilt and shame are good for us and helpful to our spiritual growth. Guilt and shame assist us by revealing our past sin to us—and they also prevent us from […]
If I have God, I Don’t Need People
“Christian” Beliefs that Can Drive You Crazy – Part 3 False Assumption — If I have God, I Don’t Need People The “me and God” syndrome says this: Since Christ is enough for me, it’s me and God against the world. With God on my side, I can lick any problem. If he’s there beside […]
Leave The Past Behind
“Christian” Beliefs that Can Drive You Crazy – Part 2 False Assumption — Leave The Past Behind Have your ever had someone tell you, “You are a new creation in Christ, the past should have no claim over you. You should forget what lies behind and press on?” Proponents of this idea say the past […]